Investigation Of What Fell Off Nightstand Postponed Until Morning | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source
Posted: June 4, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized
Investigation Of What Fell Off Nightstand Postponed Until Morning | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.
FORT DODGE, IA—Moments after the thud of an unidentified object hitting the floor interrupted him as he was about to drift off to sleep Tuesday, local man Michael Reeves, 32, reportedly decided to postpone the investigation of what fell off his nightstand until the next morning, sources confirmed. “Unh, I’ll deal with it tomorrow,” Reeves reportedly told himself, noting that the unknown item had neither shattered nor made the sound of splashing liquid that would normally prompt him to inspect his bedside area. “It was probably just my wallet or a book. And even if it was my phone, it’s no big deal. It’ll still be there when I wake up.” Following 15 futile minutes of attempting to fall asleep, Reeves reportedly jumped out of bed in frustration, turned on his lamp, and was on his hands and knees probing the ground beside and behind the nightstand.